Memoir Excerpt!

My final summer with Daniel, in Fox River, I quietly dumped my body overboard from Steve’s boat. Fox River, North Chicago, is clearly a dark beige toxin polluted body of water. But I couldn’t resist my urge. When you throw yourself into physical activity, you temporarily forget the fear that wants to consume you. This time the fear had nothing to do with Daniel. Daniel and I were on Steve’s boat. Sam and a new girlfriend were on Sam's boat and the two boats motored down the lake side by side. Sam was more attentive to her than he ever was to me, even when I was naked and fondling his balls. A tear ran down my cheek.

My body flipped into the smelly water without a splash. Fox River was so accustomed to having waste dumped into it that it welcomed me as it would a chemical. Daniel and Steve didn’t know I went for a swim, as planned. Fox River is really long and I swam under water for miles.

The clouds turned black accompanied with thunder and lightning. That’s a universal water skiing sign to call it a day. Daniel and Steve couldn’t find me. I remember the water being thick and I didn't feel like coming up for air. An hour passed and I thanked Mother Earth for my treadmill addiction, I could just keep swimming. And I did. My mass of brown hair blended well with the tainted seaweed. Then I got cold and tired and I wondered where they were.

Daniel and Steve became frantic, thinking the worst. They called the police, the Fox Lake coast guard. There are houses along Fox River and I thought it a good idea to get on land. I was shivering on a stranger’s porch and it’s the coldest I remember feeling including the time in Aspen when two trees shredded my winter coat. Steve and Daniel finally found me. Daniel scolded me and told me what a bad girl I was, “For to make worry.” My body heaved with sobs. Daniel thought I sobbed because of being lost.