Funny

Since I came to the suburbs to take care of my beautiful daddy before his death, I've remained in the cornfields for the time being. Needless to say I've been lonely at times and wishing I could at least smell a man's hormones, or hear a masculine voice, or sit on a man's face. So a dating service (which I used to make fun of) had a free weekend five weeks ago and I signed up and posted a photo. After two hundred men contacting me via email, I stopped counting; and they all live in a 100 mile radius. How could there be that many single men? It would take the rest of my life to date all of them. I deleted every one. Signing up for the dating service was an impetuous, desperate move. Like, how do I even narrow it down, say, to a dozen?

But when you're not looking, perhaps the adage is true. "I've got me a date next Thursday afternoon, yahooo!" Sheila said. I met him in the most innocent of ways. Probably the only innocent thing that's happened to me, ever.